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Wednesday, March 29, 2006 |
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now playing only hope
by switchfoot
mood sleepy
"sing to me all the song of the stars;
of your galaxy - dancing
and laughing again
so i lay my head back down,
and i lift my hands and pray
to be only yours;
i pray"
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it's time to say something,
ain't it?
i'm sure my non-existent viewers have been cursing this lazy blogger
truth is;
there really hasn't been anything great to talk about.
and my hands don't itch much like the past.
i used to blog once everyday - twice even.
okay i can go on and on defending myself
but i'd rather get on to blogging substantial stuff -
and i'm sure you'd rather read that OVER my defense.
so everything's settled with poly.
admission, fees, dates and which pal to meet before orientation.
I just have a few problems;
I'm not sure if i'm able to adapt;
there's that, and there's the part where the last 2 decades (well almost) of my life
has been dedicated to books,
science and test papers.
the never shrinking pile of homework
the burning of late-night oils,
and of course the friends.
i mean, of course it's my choice to quit studying A levels and enter tertiary.
and i did that originally to escape the studying;
the studying,
and the MORE studying.
but, as the saying goes "wisdom comes with age", i'm beginning to see
that tertiary life really is far more complicated.
And there is the size of the campus which probably could fit my whole estate into it,
i could walk around for 10minutes and NOT see any familiar faces, lost.
and i've always worked well with familiarity.
I used to be able to walk around campus and smile and talk to almost everyone.
i'm not trying to popularize my character here,
but just think for a second,
how big can a secondary school/college be?
and it IS definately possible to know at least 1/3 of the population who inhabit the school.
that alone provides comfort that help is around;
even when you're not in class.
ALSO there's an upside to poly.
my future would definately be sustained.
Another reason why i chose to delve into tertiary was because
i realised i could never ever cope with A levels.
it's not just the concrete papaers.
it's the stress, and i admit i'm not a very good stress absorber.
and as i grow older,
visions of my future's becoming less cloudy.
(no i'm not talking about premonitions, although i love Charmed)
i'm talking about what i wanna do when i'm all ripe and 25.
where i wanna work.
what i should and shouldn't do.
it's all crystal now.
AND being human, and the oh-so-kiasu-and-kiasi Singaporean,
who tend to gravitate towards the downside of everything
i'm beginning to worry.
i'm a little neurotic, what do you expect?! (this i quoted from holly marie combs)
but it's true.
i'm sure i'll be fine after everything's settled down,
and as school starts,
this panic would, hopefully, melt away.
although i do hope i don't get dorky classmates.
god i hope i don't
>.<
12:39 PM
