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Thursday, September 07, 2006 |
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now playing| tiger lily
artist| matchbook romance
mood| beaten
"& accept 'someday, somehow', as the words that i'll hang from"
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WITH YOUR HANDS IN MINE,
as strangers walked by
i'd look you in the eye,
& tell you just how i feel
you guys should watch this movie, it's very provocative, & very real.
i hate being alone, sometimes silence can resound a whole lot louder than the crack of a million thunders. i don't know about you, but i usually get unusually heightened paranoia when i'm alone, my heart beats deepers, my mind travels further, and i'd usually end up lying on my bed wishing i would fall asleep instead - at least i'd stop wondering, and wandering.
training the past two weeks everyday has left me both physically and mentally drained, and the wound on my butt (near the tail bone) isn't helping me much either. i've been waking up every morning, unable to sit up at all initially.
just an hour ago when i got home, i spat a mouthful of phlegm out and it had a little blood in it - i hope it doesn't mean anything. =
i haven't been meeting up with my Poly classmates this whole holiday, i've a feeling i wouldn't see them until the reopening of school. balls. i haven't seen much of my Secondary school friends either, & last saturday was just screwed.
after leaving Millennia, i realised i haven't touched tennis in an ultra long time, and i think it's time to pick up my racket and start whacking a few yellow bouncy balls again. TENNIS, ANYONE? I want the next week to come fast, and pass slow. The camp's all that i'm looking forward to.
i'm 18, and i haven't stepped into a club before, believe it or not. =] i'm pretty proud of it, being a virgin clubber - on the other hand i don't wanna come across as a nerd-bag - so if anyone of you are heading out to a club anytime soon, call me along. i wanna flash my IC with pride and walk into a club without breaking any rules.
i've been having my quiet time/devotions every night since a few days ago, & i won't say that i'm an excellent christian because that would be lying through my teeth. but at least i'm trying, not to be a good christian - but a proud christian. what do i mean? let me give you an example: if being Christian were to be a crime, i'd want there to be enough evidence to convict me.
yesterday night, i've came to realise how complex, & how strange God is. like, if he really does exist, why are there still suffering? is free will really all that important? but i also came to realise that what he does is his business, what he does THROUGH me is what i should really be thinking about.
& i guess the only reason why we get to live in heaven for eternity, is because it really takes eternity to know God.
2:46 PM
