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now playing| goodnight texas
artist| holland
mood| drained
"find another course, 'cause late night roads all look the same"
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is there a cure among us,
from this processed sanity?
i weaken with each voice that sings.
now in this world of purchase,
I'm going to buy back memories,
to awaken some old qualities.
have i got a long way to run?
it's been about a week, with a few more days thrown in. i chose today (or night) to blog on delibrate. i started school on monday, & i suppose i'll have a wider scope of things i can talk about here.
so basically school's been rather unkind to me, because it's only been a week and i'm feeling all drained. also, it's the first damn week, which means it wasn't really all study and work, only introductions. i can't imagine what it would do to me when weeks go by, and things in general begin to pick up speed and gain momemtum. i reckon it'll crush me, ultimately - especially since i don't just have school to worry about. i've got Canoe trainings. but i won't complain about that because i decided this course, this path myself and i'm sticking to trainings because it's really all that keeps my adrenaline pumping in school.
i have to admit i wasn't, and still am not very happy with my grades in Semester 1, so i hope my attempts to pay more attention in class, and study smarter and harder this semester would generate a better result at the end of it all - but we all know it isn't always the case huh?
i've been lunching with my Canoe mates alot since school started, probably coz i hung out with them almost my whole holidays and it'd be a little weird if i don't see them. sounds a little gay i know, but hey? i'm not asking you to judge, just read. i used to think weekdays rowing at kallang would be really tiring, but seeing how i'm still well and alive now - i don't see why i won't be rowing more. it actually feels pretty good. oh hell yeah.
i finally met my best friend, Waiaung, one of the days during holiday. but it was like, my last day before school started. but it was still good. we wandered around town like old times, where we would just hang out in school uniforms and act all crazy. only now we've matured into the young adults we are now, but still - nostalgia kicks in every now and then and my mind sails back to yester-years. it was good. =]
part of me wants school to gain wings and speed me on it's merry way to self destruction - okay i dramatized. but i wanna prove to myself that i AM able to cope with my studies well, well enough to get good grades that'll ultimately land me up in a University. but another part of me, or should i say the darker side silently wishes that school'll collapse, because sometimes i would really love to drop off the face of the earth and adopt a 'couldn't care less' attitude to everything, anything. sometimes all i need is peace, and some serenity. and in this fast paced society, where politics are played even in classrooms, how are we truly able to hold our heads on our shoulder firmly and act rationally to everything? am i making any sense?
i think i should start working soon, because i don't want to be a bigger burden to my mom.
10:05 PM
