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i won't say a word;
coz i don't wanna lose what we have left
if you'll be my love,
i'll be yours
if you need your space
i'll face a distance
it's not that i'm brave
i just finally realised
.....
so much for 'stick around' huh? lol. i'm sorry i haven't been posting here, unless you count those short excerpts from songs and few little thoughts penned down, then okay i've been blogging.
but i hardly count them as post-worthy.
so much has happened over this long stretch of my absence here, and i won't know how to begin also? so much to say, so much to tell; some i doubt even words can describe. okay let's see, where to begin. there was the heartache, and then the cleab break, and the in-between silence.
but after every sunset, there'll be a sunrise - and i think things are getting bright for me! =D
Because I don't live in either my past or my future. I'm interested in only the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man. You'll see that there is life in the desert, that there are stars in the heavens, and that tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival,
because life is the moment we're living right now
2:17 PM
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even heros have the right to bleed.
9:43 AM
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Wednesday, March 21, 2007 |
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is this the end of everything i loved?
why yes it is.
10:49 AM
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Pacific sun
You should have warned us these heights are dizzying
& the climb can kill you long before the fall
& our trails go unmarked and unmapped, &
Covered just as soon as they are crossed
Oh, how we shouted, how we screamed
Take notice, take interest, take me with you
When all our fears fall on deaf ears tonight
2:59 PM
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Wednesday, March 14, 2007 |
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boys lie - matter of fact
4:57 PM
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now playing| Learning to Breathe
artist| Switchfot
mood| final
"& all of my regrets are nothing new"
----------
hello, good morning, how you do?
what makes your risin' sun so new?
i could use a fresh beginning too
all of my regrets are nothing new
so this is a way, that I say I need You
that i'm learning to breathe, i'm learning to crawl
i'm finding that you
and you alone can break my fall
I'm Living Again, Awake & Alive
i'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
i never, never thought that
i would fall like that
never knew that i could hurt this bad
this is a way that i say i need you
this is a way that i say i love you
This Is The Way That I Say I'm Yours
.....
the end of an era. the end of this. i've moved to livejournal because blogger isn't derek-friendly anymore. but i'll prefer to keep it much quieter.
i'll still be posting here, every now and then? but i don't think they'll be anymore interesting than a book on computer applications. life has thrown me around on a roller coaster ride, one i won't easily forget - and can't forget.
i'd like to enjoy the rest of these alone. it's funny 'coz i think i'm somehow attached to this place. like i forementioned in a previous post, i come here to drown all my fears. if anybody said being attached to something lifeless, something that's just plain material is impossible, it's not true. okay i wouldn't say i'm attached, but i wouldn't say i have no feelings for soul-displaced. it has, in more ways than one, helped me moved on and start living my life bravely again. but i think now i need a new destination, i want to start living somewhere nobody knows who i am.
i've tried /latenightroads, but it didn't seem to work out like i wanted it to be. i never wanted to say goodbye.
where'd you go?
i miss you so
seems like it's been forever
that you've been gone
where'd you go?
please, come back home
when you come back,
i won't will be here
=] i suspect i wouldn't leave this place barren, i'll come back once in awhile, & to everyone who does read my blog and not glance, i thank you sincerely. even more for commentors. i'll see you around then. sayonara.
12:28 AM
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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 |
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you stay inside the one you love,
it's where you hide
take you away from that empty apartment you stay
and forget where the heart is
someday,
if ever you loved me - you'd say
"it's okay"
answer no to these questions
let her go - learn a lesson
can't you see, something's missing
you forget where the heart is
waking up from this nightmare
how's your life,
what's it like there?
is it all that you want it to be
DOES IT HURT WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT ME
& HOW BROKEN MY HEART IS?
it's okay to be angry and never let go
it only gets harder the more that you know
3:49 PM
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Monday, February 26, 2007 |
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now playing| something beautiful
artist| cauterize
mood| hungry
"& that you needed a change, you left without good-bye "
----------
scream or a cry
the truth or a lie
i'm not sure they will save us this time
i don't wanna be around
when it all comes down
to watch something beautiful die
you said the only way is to run away
you're sick of me so you just can't
stick around to hear me pleading
i'm pleading
does it show; i'm pathetic i know
i just can't stand here watch you go
i'm running after you
.....
i've gone through my first paper, & it wasn't as bad as i thought i'd be thank God. i'm gonna be sitting for 3 more papers this week, and afterwhich i'll be free. though i'm not so sure i'll be able to get pass tuesday swimmingly. accounts, numbers, math, they were never my trump cards - but i guess i'll just have to play around with luck and WITS. =] i have Jeslin to thank for that, my miracle tutor.
i can't wait for tuesday's paper to pass on over, and wednesday coz i finally can rest a day without studying. Microeconomic's not all that difficult to study, like management. It's a whole lot of words, and graphs, and comprehension - but i think i'm just telling myself this just so i can feel more at ease.
weekends just got through, and i feel pretty bad 'coz i didn't spend most of it studying for papers. but it wasn't at all wasted, lah!.
my ATM card got sucked into that damn machine because i wasn't fast enough. actually it was 'coz i was too engrossed with the number on the receipt. all the CNY money just makes my heart skip each time i see the amount. so i was really careful, counting and checking my wallet to see if i missed out any notes, and then i realised i left the card in that slot-thing. i reached out, but before my finger came even close to contact, it slided into oblivion.
NO MORE MONEY FOR YOU, DEREK. =[ so now, i have money, but i can't access it. and i haven't got time to visit the bank to make a new card because i have exams. but it's kinda like an insurance, i know i won't be spending it?
AS LONG AS I'M WITH YOU, BABY =]
12:15 AM
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Saturday, February 24, 2007 |
|
now playing| tiger lily
artist| matchbook romance
mood| very, confused
"smell the tiger lily; once more"
----------
we drive tonight; & you are by my side
we're talking about our lives
like we've known each other forever
time flies by
at the sound of your voice
it's close to paradise
with the end surely near
AND IF I COULD ONLY STOP THE CAR
& hold on to you
i'll never let go
if i had it my way, i'd turn the car around also,
& run away,
just you and i.
.....
Run run run, as fast as your short legs can carry you.
you got me confused. you got me really messed up. you got my heart flutter a minute and drown in my own screams the next.
but you've got me. i'm so tired.
4:03 PM
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Thursday, February 22, 2007 |
|
There's always something in the way
There's always something
getting through
but it's not me
it's You
sometimes ignorance
rings true
but hope is not in what i know
it's not in me
it's in You
i find peace when i'm confused
i find hope;
when i'm let down
it's in you
I HOPE TO LOSE MYSELF FOR GOOD;
i hope to find it in the end
in You
it's all i know
5:32 PM
